Fifty Shades Of Hurt
by vicgirl831
Summary: Ana has started self harming since the death of her stepfather Ray, how will Christian react, and help her out. This story takes place after Fifty Shades of Grey before darker. Warning: Self Harming
1. Chapter 1

I apologize for the grammer, I'm not very good with it so I am looking for a Beta. Message me if you're interested, thank you and hope you enjoy!

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When the telephone rang that Wednesday morning, Ana was not expecting the call to change her life forever. Picking up the phone and not recognizing the number, "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Anastasia Steele?"

"Yes, how can I help you?" Ana answered, she could tell something was wrong. She had that certain feeling inside like deja vu.

"I'm sorry to inform you but there has been an accident. Your father Ray Steele was hit by a drunk driver going the wrong way." Ana took a deep breath, ' _no this couldn't be happening, I just graduated. He was going to teach me so much more.'_ Before her mind could continue spewing out thoughts the officer on the other line interrupted her, "Ma'am, I know this is hard for you but we are going to have to ask you to come down to the station to identify the body."

That was it, what ever emotions Ana thought she was holding in before came flying out. "Um ok, I'll be right down." After they exchanged the location and phone numbers Ana hung up and stood up from the couch she was sitting at. Rubbing the smeared mascara away from her eyes she walks to the door, grabs her keys, and drives to the police station.

Arriving at the station, she was approached by the police officer that told her the awful news on the phone. Each and every step Ana took a little piece of her knew she was walking towards her inevitable new future, with no dad, no more spring fishing trips, and she would have no one if one day needed someone to escort her down the aisle. When the approached the morgue the police officer stepped inside and walked over to a body with a white sheet over the poor unfortunate soul underneath who they claimed to be Ray.

"Now Miss Steele, I want you to take a good look and take your time..."

Before she could go on Ana interrupted her, "Can you just pull the sheet back, so I can see if its him or not!" She demanded, she felt bad for yelling but it had to be done, this is taking too long for her patience. The mortician pulled back the sheet, and there he was Ray. Ana's air got stuck in her throat and so did her breakfast. She ran over to the sink in the far left corner and threw up whatever what was left in her stomach.

The officer walked over to her and started rubbing circles in her back, "I am so sorry for your loss honey." Ana continued to bawl until there was nothing else to come out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry I threw up in your sink, and yes before you ask that was my step father Ray." Without saying another word she pulled herself together and walked outside to her car. She put her car in drive and drove straight to her apartment. It was like she was on auto pilot, not caring about going through red lights or cutting people off. Who was she kidding, If Ray wasn't in this world with her should she really try her hardest to stay here too if he wasn't.

Pulling into the garage of her building and parking in her usual spot, Ana took the key out of the ignition and just sat there. She was numb, she had no stamina to go into her apartment and look at things that reminded her of Ray. Before she could go into a deeper depression she took the key she was holding and dug it into her arm, she didn't want to die, she just didn't want to hurt anymore.

She did two cuts and stopped because her phone started to ring, she groaned when the last person she ever wanted to talk to was calling her. "Ana, I know you don't want to talk to me right now after what I did but I need you." Before she could even talk Christian cut her off, "Ana, please I need you."

Ana started bawling again, "Christian, please I've had an awful day and I just need to be alone right now." Before he could protest and ask what was wrong she hung up on him. She looked down at the key, and hated what she was about to do, she made another cut and cried. She was tired, so so tired. She walked out of the drivers seat and opened up the door to her backseat. She stepped in and laid down across the back. She just wanted to sleep and forget.

She must have slept for quite awhile because she heard tapping on the window. Ana woke up suddenly and saw Christian and Taylor staring at her with worry. "Ana, open the door baby. Please open up." She rubbed her eyes and looked down at her arms and saw the scratches and dry blood, she knew this was it, Christian was going to flip. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

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 **This is my first fifty shades story so I hope you all like. Please review and I will post more soon, I am almost done with chapter two :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the kind reviews, follows, and favorites. It means the world to me that you guys are enjoying this.

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She took a deep breath and opened the door, before Christian could do anything he looked her over and reached for her but she pulled away, "How did you even find me?" She asked annoyed.

She started walking towards the entrance of her building when Christian yelled out behind her, "Don't you know me well enough to know that I can track your every move." He tried to be snarky, but she wasn't taking it.

"Christian, like I said I'm not in the mood!" She yelled not looking back, wiping away the new tears. She walked up to her door and unlocked it. It looked like Kate wasn't home, and in this moment she couldn't be happier for that. Before Christian could enter, Ana turned around and locked the door.

"Anastasia, open the damn door!" She could hear Christian yelling on the other end.

"No, leave me alone Christian!" She walked to her room and locked the door, knowing sooner or later that Christian was going to find his way in. She just couldn't bear to see it, she undressed, put on a simple t-shirt and laid in her bed. She rolled herself into a ball and just laid there. She was numb yet again, she couldn't hear what was happening outside her door, she couldn't hear the clock ticking from her bedside table, the only thing she could hear was her heart beating fast.

Her bedroom door suddenly burst open and Christian walked inside, Ana knew it was him even though her back was turned to where he was. She didn't move, she just laid there. She couldn't bear to face him, she lowered her head and started crying again. She heard footsteps which means she was about to face him again. "Anastasia, what happened? Having that smart mouth of yours quiet for once is the worst silence I have ever heard."

She looked up at him, but still remained silent. He reached down and brushed a strand of her hair and put it behind her ear. "Ana, why don't we go to my place. I can protect you from whatever happened."

She sat up instantly, which surprised him. He moved back a little, "You want to protect me Christian?" He looked at her with sad eyes and nodded. "Well you can't my life ended a few hours ago. My Dad died Christian, he's dead. Ray is dead!" She yelled.

Christian leaned down and hugged her the best he could, with the position she was in. "Baby, I am so sorry! What can I do to make this better, please what could I do…." Before he continued he saw the scars on her arm. "Anastasia, what are those?" She looked up at him and refused to answer, "Ana, what are those?"

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Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

I am so sorry it took so long guys, I started school and than i got super busy. I will try to update weekly and form a schedule. Thank you, I am still looking for someone to talk to regarding this story so if you are interested that would be awesome.

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"Ana, what are those?" Ana turned away from him and buried her face into the pillow and started crying. Christian turned away and took a deep breath, he knew he had no control over the situation at ease. "Ana, I can't help you if you don't talk to me or for godsake look at me."

She turned to face him and sat up a little, "It's just been hard since Ray died, he's just gone." She looked down and started to cry again. "He's never going to see me accomplish anything, get married, or even meet his grandchildren. He's just gone!"

Christian leaned down and kissed her head, "Baby, if I could bring him back I would." He watched her nod.

"I know." She looked down at her arms, and then back at him, "I think you know what those are Christian." Ashamed, she looked down.

"Anastasia, look at me please!" She didn't look up, "I'm not going to ask you again." She looked up at him and wiped away some of her tears. "I'm taking you back to Escala, I'm going to bathe you, and then make you better."

"Do you not understand that you can't just take me home, polish me, and make me better?" She cried.

"I know that, but it's what I can do right now. Please just let me help you!" He said with saddened eyes. She looked up at him and was torn, in a way she wanted the help but then again she didn't. She just wanted to be alone and mourn the loss of her father.

"Can we stay here, I don't want to move." She wiped some fallen tears and watched him nod. She knew it was killing him to give in, but she also knew that he wanted to do what was best for her.

He kissed my head and whispered, "Baby, I'm just gonna step out and talk to Taylor for a few minutes." She nodded and layed back down in her bed. A few minutes later she felt Christian next to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Taylor is coming with dinner, and he is bringing me a week's amount of clothing."

"A week? Christian you can't be serious!" She said, turning to face him. "I'll be fine, I am fine!"

He gave her a disapproving look, "You are not fine! You know you are not fine, I am going to stay here until you get better, I am going to fix you."

"You can't fix this Christian, I'm damaged goods!" She leaned into his shirt and started crying.

"No baby, you're not! I love you and we are going to say goodbye to Ray together. You will never be alone." He kissed her head and hugged her close to him. Before he could finish soothing her there was a knock on the door.

Taylor came in with some chinese food. "I bought wonton soup, sesame chicken, some vegetable fried rice, and roast pork lo mein." Christian thanked him and walked back to the bed.

"We can have it in here baby, If you don't want to move." He took out the plates and handed one to her. She just let it fall to her lap, the last thing she was thinking about at the moment was food. "Baby, please you have to eat."

"Christian, the last thing I can think about at a time like this is food. I just really want to sleep." She gave him back her plate and lied down, facing away from him. He realized she had a long day and agreed. He put the food in the refrigerator and then held her as she slept. He knew that this journey was going to take longer than he thought. He didn't even know if they were together at this point or not, but he was going to stay here as long as he can with her in his arms. He would never let go.

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Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

I want to say thank you for everyone who left a review and followed/favorited this story. It means so much to me, if you are the guest that left that long review please message me so we can discuss the story :)

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Ana woke up first, and didn't know what to do. Usually in the morning's the first thing she would do is call Ray, see if he would need anything before her way to work. Her eyes then bolted out of her face, work! She didn't even think to call work after her night, she had to much on her mind. She unwrapped herself from Christian's arms and went directly into her closet to get ready for work.

She thought it would be a good distraction, so she entered her closet and pulled out the closest pair of pants and a button down shirt she could find. "Ana, where are you going? Come back to bed."

She turned around and stared at him, "Christian, I have work." She continued to get dressed. Christian rubbed his eyes and got out of the bed. He stood behind her and wrapped both of his arms around her waist, laying his head on her shoulder.

"Baby, I had Taylor call out for you yesterday. You can't go to work in the state you're in." She turned around to look at him.

She put one hand on her side and asked, "And what did Taylor say? That Miss Steele, has an issue and won't be in indefinitely?" Christian, shook his head but before he could answer Ana cut him off. "You can't keep controlling my life Christian, the last time I did this I bounced back. Who says I won't this time too?"

"The Last time?" He yelled, "How many times have you done this?"

"Look, I didn't mean it like that. I meant yesterday I bounced back by being better today." She said lying through her teeth. She could tell he knew she was lying too. "Please, I just need to work! I need a distraction from everything." He knew he shouldn't be allowing her to work but this was his kryptonite.

"Fine, but the minute you start feeling out of control please call me. I won't be far I actually have a few meetings in your building today." He said, starting to get dressed himself.

She turned around and started brushing her hair, "That's good maybe we can do lunch when jack lets me out." He nodded at her. She didn't want her to know that Jack was one of the reasons that he was meeting people. They have gotten quite a few complaints about him and the owners of SIP were thinking about asking Christian to take over as the new owner.

After having a quiet breakfast both Christian and Ana went into the car and Taylor drove them both to SIP. Before stepping into the building Christian kissed the top of her forehead, "Remember what I said, If you need me call me!" She nodded, and took his hands walking into the building. She got off on level 20 while he got off on level 22.

She walked directly to her office and sat down in her chair. There were already quite a few manuscripts on her desk for her to look over. She took in a deep breath and started to work, she read up to the first chapter of a manuscript until she read about a dad and a daughter's strong bond. She knew this was karma telling her she should have just stayed in bed.

She pulled up her knees to her chest and continued reading the story. Before realizing she has read the entire script there was a knock on her door. Before saying come in to whomever was behind it Jack stormed in. "Did you know your boyfriend has come to steal my job?"

She stood up and walked up to Jack, "First of all he's not my boyfriend, and second of all I had no idea. I'm sorry Jack maybe if I just talk to Christian."

"No, you've done enough! I bet he is only doing this for you, he's obsessed with you." He started walking closer and closer to Ana. "If you weren't so good at your job I would fire you right now."

"Step away from her Jack!" Both Ana and Jack turned around to see Taylor in her office.

Jack stepped back and walked right up to Taylor, "You better tell and his cupcake over here to watch their back." Jack walked out of the room and Ana watched in horror at the scene that followed. She looked up at Taylor, with tears in her eyes,

"Taylor, do not tell Christian about what just happened! He's only going to freak" Ana pleaded with Taylor. "Atleast let me tell him!" Taylor nodded and watched her as she walked out of the room. "I'm just going to the bathroom before doing so." She walked into the bathroom as she watched Taylor take his pose outside of the bathroom.

She stood in front of the mirror and started crying trying to catch her breath. She took out her car keys and raised her sleeve of her shirt up. She tried to tell herself to just go find Christian and talk it out but she couldn't. She needed to do this, so she made two cuts on her upper arm. She put toilet paper over the cuts so the blood wouldn't seep through. She wiped the tears away from her eyes and walked out of the room to find Christian.

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Please Review, the next chapter should be up soon :)


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